For many years, Mel cared for her husband, Peter, who had Multiple Sclerosis. Mel’s experience with VOCAL started during a difficult time in her caring journey. As Peter’s needs increased, he was reluctant to accept outside support, including respite.
This meant that Mel was caring for Peter 24/7 without a break. She eventually managed to attend a course about managing emotions through VOCAL’s Carer Training programme, describing it as a significant turning point:
“That was the first time I’d felt recognised as a carer. The course enabled me to realise that I could get support, and not only deserve a break, but really needed it. VOCAL was there for me over the years, and I always had it in the back of my mind that once my caring role ended, I wanted to give something back to VOCAL.”
Following Peter’s diagnosis, his condition unfortunately deteriorated, and Peter passed away. After the loss of her husband, Mel found herself at a crossroads, explaining:
“In some ways I was looking to do different things that were fulfilling for me, but I wanted to continue to care, just in a different form. My role as a carer had ended, but I thought in some ways it would be wasteful not to put what I had learned – the positive and the negative – to good use.”
Mel saw an advertisement for our peer mentoring service, where carers are matched with others who have experienced similar situations. She adds:
“It’s not about fixing people’s problems,” she says. “For me, it’s sharing my experiences as a carer and in that sharing, I think people feel a little bit less alone. One of my first carer matches was frustrated that people kept telling him to ‘look after himself’ or ‘just take a holiday’. I think I was one of the first people to understand how impossible that was. Friends and family are often well meaning, but only carers understand what it’s truly like, minute to minute. You barely have time to breathe, let alone look after yourself.”
Mel has been volunteering with VOCAL since 2022 and is enjoying her time as a peer mentor:
“It feels worthwhile. I think carers walk away from our conversations feeling a little bit lighter, a bit more seen. They know they’re not alone.”
For Mel, her caring role may have ended, but as she explained, her caring continues. We are hugely thankful to our peer mentoring team for sharing their personal experiences to help others through their caring journey.
