Nicky: Supporting other carers as a peer mentor 

My name’s Nicky and I cared for my father who had Parkinson’s and Parkinson’s-related dementia. And um – caring for someone with dementia has so many challenges.

I think for somebody who’s caring for a parent, there’s a role reversal. You become a parent. You have to look after that person, you have to make decisions for that person.

And it’s that changing – a huge shift in the relationship that I think is the most difficult to take. And then, particularly with dementia, it’s the change in behaviours, I found, were particularly challenging.

Well, I first got involved with VOCAL, coming along to counselling and to courses. The courses I came to – some of them day courses, some of them over a few weeks – they were really, really helpful. Some practical suggestions, some supportive suggestions, and talking with other carers was really helpful.

But then I was asked to become part of the evaluation team, which I quite enjoyed but it wasn’t for me. And then I was asked to become a peer mentor, so then I had to put down some headline topics that I could discuss as a peer mentor with people who had a caring role.

To be a peer mentor, we had to go through training (quite a long training) – it was really, really helpful. I met other peer mentors there. The support from other peer mentors is useful.

Also there are staff – permanent staff – here who are on call if I suddenly get a “kick the filing cabinet” moment. VOCAL are really helpful and supportive.

I wished I’d had a peer mentor when I was caring. I think the difference that it makes is, hopefully they learn from what I did well. What I did well, what I didn’t do well, what I wished I’d done, and I suppose what I wished I hadn’t done.

It’s a learning experience for the carer. Have I learned anything being a peer mentor? Hmm… yes – how strong people are. How amazing they are at just being so supportive to their loved one. I’m in awe of some of these people, in absolute awe of them, they’re amazing.

What have I got out of volunteering? I have got so much out of volunteering! I get to meet the most awesome people. I get to try and support them through a really challenging time in their lives. And if I can do a tiny bit to help them on their way, then that’s just – I mean honestly, that’s just amazing.